And God said,

“Honor your Father (and Mother)

so you shall live long…”

Why is this a Commandment in the Bible right up there with murder and theft

and before infidelity and greed?

The Commandment does not say “Love” your parents, but “Honor” them, instead.

Is love the natural instinct where honor the conscious choice?

If one considers the extreme -- physical or sexual abuse of a child at the hands of a parent, for example -- does this suggest that the child is to honor the abusive parent anyway? And, if so, for most of us where the extremes do not apply, but small run-of-the-mill abuses such as neglect or emotional abuse or just unthinking words may, why is “honor” the prescribed response?

The Commandment is unconditional…there is no, “honor if or when this or that…”

Simply, “Honor” them, so that you shall live long…

Apparently, there is a benefit to the child for honoring the parents – a longer life –

and an inferred price for not doing so -- a shorter life.

No Commandment directs to “Love or Honor your child…”, only, that the child is to

“Honor” the parents -- a one-way relationship.

This may reflect the nature of the relationship between parent and child, for it is one-way, also.

It is a choice for the parents; which mate they will have and to have a child or not.

But, it is not a choice for the child to be born or who his or her parents are.

The child is stuck with the parents he or she gets. But, not all children are stuck with their parents in terms of rearing. Many Fathers and Mothers die or simply leave their children. But, they did “father” them.

So, this isn’t about child rearing.

Could it be about another one-way element involved between parents and children -- genes?

There are no choices there, either … for either Parent or the child.

Is this a Commandment because God is trying to tell us that the genes that produce us,

that provide us with our individual specificities,

that give us life,

come to us from our parents,

that were chosen for us,

as wondrous gifts of God

And must be honored

even in the face of the actions taken or not by the persons through which they came?

By obeying this Commandment and honoring our parents, are we consciously acknowledging that our potential as a person is not dependent on the qualities of our parents, but on the gift – the genes -- and the fact the God choose (created) these parents. These gifts are good -- whether our parents were saints or devils.

And finally, does understanding the value of the gift and it’s source, does this conscious acknowledgement, this obedience to the Commandment, release resentment and anger and guilt and therefore, lengthen the child’s lifespan?

I wonder. But then, I am my Father’s son and wondering is one of many gifts he has given me.

So on this day which even in this time of materialism and meaninglessness is set aside to honor Fathers I am so happy to honor you, Dad, for what you have given me both consciously and unconsciously, and more, I love you for simply being who you are.

Happy Fathers’ Day!